From Oscar Busch's book:
"How the destiny are twisted together"
or "
" How the destiny is intertwined "
part 2
Great great book about life and reincarnation - and cosmic fate - really a book that is recommended – and here most of it attempted translated into English!
("HUR MÄNNISKOÖDAN TVINNAS" in original Swedish or translated as like some;
HOW THE HUMAN DESTINY ARE BOUND TOGETHER / "How the destiny are twisted together"/ " How the destiny is intertwined " )
chap.6: It lightens. (diminishing darkness)
It is wonderful how easily our external circumstances change in the astral world, when your sense of direction is different, and it works like magic, and yet it is quite natural. How can we observe the nature of the earth all around us in the happy sunshine mood, when we ourselves are in disharmony with our surroundings? Whereas the same environment may seem like a dreary place of banishment, when we tantrum go and brood over evil thoughts. Here, (in the astral. Rune -remark) where we are in a sense, able to create our world around us, this affects our mood, much more powerful.
The chain on my foot was gone and even the dead body, I had been firmly attached to. The darkness vanished, and a pleasant twilight conceded a rather broad view of a wild mountain landscape, which was certainly devoid of all vegetation, yet it formed a very pleasing image.
“- Now you have the right to leave this gloomy region, said Father Abilard, you may want to follow us, we will show you the way to a more comfortable dwelling.
I was quick to grasp the leading hand and then started our walk. The road was steep and rocky, and I found it very difficult to follow the others, who with the greatest ease soared up the ledges and jumped across the crevices. When things seemed too difficult, the pater handed me a flap of his jacket which embodied me with the magical power to almost soar.
Soon the nature (surroundings) changed and we came out on a wide curvy road up a steep hillside. A stream rippled between the stones. I bent down and drank eagerly the chilly refreshing water. I became a different person with increased vigour and strength; continuing the walk with my new friends.
On the road, Eric told, how ever since the night when he sang his poem to Ingegerd and as a reward got her hair- lid, had loved her with a romantic love. But he never dared to reveal how he always brought her cap by his heart and in silence passed and hoped that this amulet would be able to once again draw them together. Then came the deplorable commotion of Uppsala, and now he thought that they would never see each other again. But a few years later came the great miracle, which he never completely ceased to hope for. One evening at sunset, a young knight followed by his old squire rode to his house. His astonishment was great when he in the last recognized Ingegerd. She did as she said, to recover her cap, but instead she gave herself so completely over, that only can do, that who love. From her girdle, she took up the papal document, which declared her marriage dissolved. It had gone a year and a half before the news came back from Rome, but on the same day she received it, she had saddled her horse and ...
- Enough, enough! I interrupted, it storms in my temples, I do not want to hear more, it feels as if something inside me would break.
I threw myself on the ground and wept like a child. Erik was very saddened that his frankness had up-pulled the old wounds and caused me pain.
Abilard, which passed quietly and listened to Eric's story, sat down beside me and put his hand on my head. It eased and I was calm again.
- The wounds still bleed, he said, but I know a drug, which connects and heals.
I looked at him.
- You are, as you become stronger, to go down and find her that you love. She still lives on this earth.
Erik made a weak protest but Abilard interrupted him:
"You should follow him and show him the way"
It was night on earth, when we some time later visited her, who had been our both’s wife. She was sleeping in her room.
Erik brought his lute and sang a ballad. In doing so she woke up - not her physical body, it was still fast asleep, but her soul, and it was wonderful to see, how this, that she dressed in her astral body, floated out of the physical body. Only then did I really know her.
The sleeping body, which, incidentally, I could make out only vague, was old, but freed from this body, she was young and handsome, more handsome than I had ever seen her. And now I could clearly see her. She was wrapped in a thin white dress, which gracefully followed the body forms. She immediately recognized Eric and went to him. She had not seen me yet. I was so gray, that I was not noticeable in the dark corner of the room, where I retired.
Here I was now witness to a rendezvous between the two, in whose life I had so deeply intervened. At first it upset me so that I was ready to throw myself between them to put an end to the painful scene, but to my great surprise, I noticed that I could not move. I was like paralyzed, nor could I get a word crossed my lips.
Instead, a voice spoke within me with an authoritative voice, which I could not SILENCE.
"What right do you have for this woman who never loved you and that you never had any warmer feeling for? You have believed you love her, but in fact it is only yourself you loved. You still have no idea about, what love is. It's your wounded vanity that has driven you to take revenge, what you consider to be an affront to your dignity, and thus you have criminally broken into their relationship and recently separated them from each other, but never success to tear the band, which unites them, just as you are able re-establish the fragile link, which was once attached to her by your person. "
Who was this voice inside of me? Is this what people call the conscience? I started to object, she was my lawful wife, and she had promised ...
This interrupted the talking: "She was unclear about his own feelings as you about yours: therefore you must not judge her. But now, you should make it clear to yourself, that you have committed a crime that deeply offended her - as well as him. Kneel and ask her to forgive you! "
Thus spoke the voice more and more penetrating. I was torn between the most conflicting emotions, I was in the most frightful anguish, perfectly still with his face in his hands.
- When I looked up again, I found myself much to my surprise, all alone. In the bed was only Ingegerd's body, which was breathing easily and sleeping. I decided to wait for her return, for I saw just now that she would go before waking up again in her body, and I wished to see her again. Yes, had I only the strength, so I wanted to ....
I barely had time to even think the thought to the end, until I saw them come floating back, they looked so happy. But now Ingegerd saw me. She gave a cry of fright and hid behind Erik.
- Have no fear, I heard him say. Aake want us no more evil. He regrets what he did and has had to follow me to see you once again ...
- And beg you to forgive what I done. He followed me, while I knelt down and stretched my hands towards her.
She did not answer, but waved friendly with her hand, hugged Eric and disappeared into her sleeping body.
****
It passed a long period of years. I found myself in the same sphere, from where I last went down and now taken up in a small colony of simple and friendly people, mainly occupied with agriculture. Yes, I call them people, though they lived on the astral plane. You would call them spirits, but as they were dressed in one of this plane - exact as real a body, as the physical body is on the earth plane, I could be tempted to call them people. They were not united or similar developed, but industrious and contented with their lot. The district we lived in had a barren nature, which supplied only a scanty crop of the hard work we made on earth. But our needs were either not large.
It may offend many of my readers that I talk about the spirit world, or let us say the astral plane conditions, just as if it were on Earth. But it is fully justified, because the lower realms - and it was in such I spent this time - is in many respects so similar to Earth that, subjectively, can hardly say wherein the difference consists. The comparison show coarse astral body, worn in the lower realms, need their nutrition and sleep as well as on earth, though to a lesser extent and conditions of life is also here a work, which is so much more burdensome, the more life and plant-less the soil is, from which it draws its nourishment.
The conditions at this plane is so infinitely varied and has so many possibilities, that it by no means - in a few words - can dismiss such a topic extensively. It also isn’t my opinion to right show the wonderfully diverse conditions under which life on the astral plane presents itself. To prevent possible misunderstanding and accusation of contradictions, I will only add, that even in the lowest spheres, it is not such an imperative need to ingest food in order to maintain the astral body, as is that relationship with the physical body on earth. The astral body can not, as the physical, die of starvation and it has a virtually unlimited ability to adapt to the conditions, and in particular for long periods of time – can dispense food and drink. This is particularly the situation when the spirit of perverse mind and stubbornness refuses to submit to a higher level of management - and not willing to humble himself and admit his/her guilt. Then it lives in a sleep-like condition and needs nothing for life, livelihood, a fact which has its physical counterpart in some animal species of hibernate.
When the spirit then acknowledge and regret/ repent of its debt and begin a new life, so to say on the right side of itself, as occurs in the lower phase the need for food, BUT NOW as a means to the welfare of the astral body. And the work required to get this food, is at once the healthiest recreational activities for anyone who has undergone severe mental sufferings: it is the spirit of the most blessed means to come to equilibrium again after the tensions he had undergone.
I hardly need to add, that this need of food and associated work, is becoming less - and food also becoming less necessary and lighter, -the higher one rises, and the result; similar -the astral body also becomes lighter, until these needs in higher stages is completely eliminated.
Now I had my home in a very low and “terrestrial-like” realm, but I could not either, as undeveloped that I was, be able to come to and thrive in a higher. I had it well, where I was, and blessed the strenuous work I was subjected to. * (For a closer study of conditions on the astral plane, see the "Landet Hinsides” of AENOR". Literature Publishing.)
In this way passed my life for a very long period of years monotonous and obscure, with no other variation than that my time was divided between manual labour and regular teaching in a school in the neighbourhood. It is therefore of no interest to dwell on this period of my life. Only a small incident of this time, I will mention.
Chap. 7 - VII - A banquet in a higher realm
Erik, I met frequently, he had his residence at a slightly higher sphere, but Abilard often came to visit me. He was sincere and a faithful friend, whom I gave all my thoughts, and with whom I always received good advice and a safe support.
At one point he told me that the voice, I thought I had heard in my mind, at Eric’s and my meeting with Ingegerd, it was his. He had not himself been present, but through some wonderful extensions that he knew to connect his and my brain, he whispered these words to me, so I kind and clear as I heard them in my head, exactly in the same way, that you, as now writes down these lines from my dictation, listen to them with the inner ear.
He asked if I did not agree with him right away, that I actually had not been attached to Ingegerd with some tender feelings, but that it actually was my wounded vanity that had driven me to revenge. I could not but agree with him of this. I did the best I've could to analyze my feelings for her and had reached the same conclusion.
- do you want to see what they do now, since she had to leave the earthly life, I ‘ve been given permission to visit them.
I hesitated whether I should accept this offer, but curiosity more than a warmer interest, drove me to gratefully accept the offer. This time we did not go by foot, as Abilard had at disposal an "airship", which in an incredibly short time crossed the long way. (Yes – many of the earthly UFO sightings, are crafts originating from those higher levels – as for ex.the astral mid.levels or higher R.Ø.rem.)
We landed in a region, which seemed to me like a paradise, compared to the stony-rich nature, I came from. On a wooded height was a grand old castle without moats and drawbridges. We were expected and were very kindly received by a person, who brought us up in an old knight-hall. There were many people gathered, it was obviously a very big celebration. A HARP PLAYER was just playing a ballad, when we entered, so we stopped at the door until he was finished. Then Erik and Ingegerd, who has been in first place at the other end of the hall, came to meet us, and they welcomed us in the most friendly way, and invited us to rise up and take a place in their vicinity.
Only now I noticed how gray and ugly, my costume was in conjunction with the light and partly gorgeous costumes worn by the others. The host himself was wearing a blue robe with gold-embroidered borders and cap/beret in the same colors. Ingegerd had one with blue borders rimmed white robe, which fell in rich folds on her beautiful figure, and had on the head a diadem of gold.
We were greeted with a cup of wine. Then the host sang to the lute-music, a poem of love. Since the party in this way lasted a while, Eric asked Abilard -to the guests' pleasure and edification, if he would tell something from his travels in other spheres.
"There once lived in Svea country on earth, so he began, two brothers, who were both very different. The elder was hard, wild and a figher type, the younger was a dreamer, who at any time went alone in the forest and learned of nature, to capture great sounding, as he transformed to songs, but in one respect they were alike, as they could not endure each other, envy had seized them both. The younger envied the older of his larger belongings, the elder envied the younger his lighter mood , which made him liked by all. Between them was a bright woman and talked to bring peace between them. As long as she was in the house, all went well, but when she turned from their path, enmity broke loose between the brothers.
As he described the past moves of our previous earth-life, I did not understand it was Erik and me. I was therefore quite unmoved, listening to it.
It Ended So, he added, that the younger was an arsonist and the older a murderer. They met again in the next life as a knight at the court and she who wanted to make peace, was also there, but now had the heavy plot to cause a fight. She loved one, but married the other, it was the guilt, she pulled over her.
Now I began to understand that it was us three, he was talking about, I was in the greatest excitement. I had been wanting to ask him to stop, for the torment to me that this would be presented for a crowd of strangers, but he spoke with such authority and also with so much tenderness in his voice that I did not dare interrupting him.
He continued his account and told me how she led by an irresistible power, tore the ties and followed her feelings.
But he said, in the mind, where the hatred was not yet fully extinguished, awakened a vengeance feeling and the end was this time as a homicide. Such was their sad story, when I got to know them. I found the younger first. He was of a gentler disposition, and therefore easier to bend, he had either not from his past life any more difficult debt, but the elder was paralyzed by his own aggressive mind, and it has cost him a hard work to get to grips with himself . And then he described movingly all the sufferings I had undergone.
- But, he added - now he too is saved and today has come here with me to guest, whom he wronged. So changes hatred to friendship, when we serve our love Master, the White Christ. "
I was deeply shaken by the prior's words. So I was the
older brother, who in two terrestrial lifes raged in hatred against him;
whose guest I was. Vague memories came up, and tumbled about
in my brain. I wanted to run out and hide somewhere in solitude, but Eric stopped me.- I will go somewhere…
- No brother, he said, you should stay here as our dear guest. Abilard has, by telling our story, just wanted to remind you of your prior life, so that the joy of our reconciliation now might become much larger. Come and sit by my side. And you, our honored guests, rejoicing with us now as the battle now has ended and it provides us a way by sincere heart to join hands. The hardest fight has our friend probably had with his own self, therefore is his victory greater than mine and therefore let him so much higher be honoured.
It broke out in a general whisper of assent among the assembled guests, and they came one after another up and took my hand, which they cordially shook. Several of them, I saw now, were old acquaintances from my past life on Earth. Ingegerd held out both of her hands.
-Welcome, dear brothers of the past, she said, now I never again need to walk among you to make peace, and I hope I never shall cause any battle.
Abilard patted me kindly on the shoulder.
-You may think I was hard, that reminded you of all that dark past, but it was because so much more to highlight your happiness at the moment. Here in our world - nothing is hidden. We shall all see ourselves and each other even in the clear, explanatory light which the past casts over the present, when we first learn to understand life and the divine direction of our destiny, then we can much more pleased with the progress we make and also get better understanding of each other.
I have to give Abilard right. That, which at first I almost took as an affront - as he faced strangers uncovered my shameful crime, it was now found to have a completely opposite effect, because of all I met so much kindness and sympathy that I felt quite warm in the heart. It was in fact the most joyous feast I have ever experienced. Old memories and new experiences collated and I felt so happy that I could ever wish for.
It was with regret I left this beautiful home and my new friends, and returned to my field of work in my own sphere, to which both duty and attraction called me, because - I felt - in the long run, I would probably not be happy in this – for me - too bright a sphere.
Chap. 8 - VIII - A meeting and a visit to the cold jails
Yet another episode from that time I have to tell. On a longer trip in my own sphere, as I was “elevated” up there; partly as a recreation, partly to learn about a new contract, I one day met an elderly woman who was slightly bent, and supported by a rod. By her side fellowed a young woman with her head held high and she had radiant beautiful eyes. The elder was shrouded in a skimpy black dress, while the younger had a light, almost white robe, who let me assume that she belonged to a higher sphere.
They stopped and asked me the way. When I gave the information I could, I lifted my hat and wanted to continue the path. Now, however, the old looked up and drilled a pair of hard eyes on me.
- Who are you? she asked. I think I know you from somewhere.
- I am one who has gone astray in the hatred and vengeance, I replied.
- Yes, so we all have done, that go trudging around here, but let's just sit here by the roadside and speak a little. She pulled me up on a small hillside beside the road, where we sat all three. It was in her way to be, a kind of authority, which I asked myself - why?
- Tell me, she continued, were not you one of King Waldmars men?
-Yes, but why do you ask?
-Then the mother's eye is sharper than her son. I thought I recognized you, as I have two times bore you by my heart.
-Mother…. is it really my former mother?
-Yes, and here is your sister Thora from the time I was the strict and feared mother Sigyn. Do not you recognize her?
-We gave each other a little hesitant hand.
-I will tell you my son, that I have had a very heavy and hard time here in this strange world and would probably have had still worse, unless Thora here, came and helped me. Now it have eased somewhat, but it is still so much that weighs. I have met with so much ingratitude both on earth and here, not the least from my own children. What have you been doing like searching for your old mother, for all the struggles I did for you? Yes, I am not talking about Thora, she's good, and she has come to see me. But you and your brother, - have you ever spent a thought on me? Have you ever asked what had become of me? Never. I know, for I would have felt if you did - I have in spite of all, been longing for you. That's the shed bitterness in my soul, that is why I never come out from this cursed country, that I go around here as a bad spirit which can never have peace. I go around here, looking for my sons, waiting to see if they still have a memory of their mother. O God, I'm unhappy!
She sat there, rocking the body, while big tears rolled down the wrinkled cheeks. I felt quite ashamed. Mother was right. I had hardly given her a thought over the centuries, as here in the spirit world had rolled over, and yet she had brought me into two terrestrial lifes, helping me thru the tottering infant stages. Was this ingratitude to blame me for her sufferings, - then I would have much to regret. I did not know what to say, but Thora came to my aid.
- But now, you've found him, as you call Grane, or Ake (åke), the man that I think you love most, because he had twice been your son.
- Mother, I cried, you must know that I've been deep in the darkness, I wallowed in hate as I swimmed in my blood. O, I have not been worthy to meet you and I have not done anything to fint you. But now I want to repair what I have left behind, now I will follow you and serve.
She gave me a piercing look.
- I think you are really honest Grane, but now I want to put you on trial. It's something I must do, but I can’t master it alone. Thora is willing, but have no strength, but you were always so strong, as you were tough and hard. Do you still have any of your strength… your hardness seems to have melted, may be you're the man to help me.
- I want to do everything I can, I assured her.
- Well, do you remember your father, old Ulf? No, you were just a child when he died. I have seen him sitting bounded somewhere down below us in an icy world, which is even worse than here. He was like you and many of the ‘Ulfas-family’ - a hard, brutal man, who, when he died, had a lot on his conscience, and he never wanted to bow. Now he sits there, and have done for hundreds of years, because he has never since been on earth (pfysical level). We have been down there, Thora and I, to try to help him through, but he does not recognize us and do not care what we say….- I do not even know if he heard us. It is as if he was deaf and blind. And we do not have the strength to rip the chains, by which he is bound. But you must try to do it, if it is as you say, that you want to serve me.
- I'd love mother, I try, but if his chains is like my own, when I was tied down there in the darkness, then probably no one other than himself is to solve them. But you must follow and show me the way.
- I will follow you, but Thora do not need to go with us. She had so bad on our last trip down there. You must know that there are terrible cold - just ice and snow everywhere. I myself think it's terrible, but I have to, I can not bring peace inside as that voice inside me are crying; go!
Thora made objections, but mother was determined and so we went. On the way I told her about my past life on Earth and that it now become clear to me that this (last) man I killed, was my former brother Ulf.
- I know, she said, Thora found out some about him, but where is he now?
I talked about my visit with him and about the beautiful banquet he arranged for me.
- Oh, he is fine - but his old mother he has not had time to think about, she added with a bitter smile.
*
Poor father! He was in a ill predicament. He sat on a block of ice, at which he was tied with a strong rope. Around him were piled large masses of ice, which formed like ruins of a mighty fortress. There he sat alone, staring with dull eyes around. Now I had learned, it was his own hard, cold heart, that drew him to this place and his own imagination, which to some extent had created this environment, which probably also had an objective reality, because we could perceive it, but then I thought it was an unnaturally harsh penalty that had hit my father.
There was something grand about him as he sat there, old and gray with bowed head and a bushy beard that reached far down the chest. He did not seem to observe us, but when I walked over and shouted in his ear, Ulf! so he awakened.
What do you want? he said in angry tone. Do not disturb my dreams.
It's your wife Sigyn and your son Grane, who has come to greet you.
-Let me alone. I am ok.
-Are not you cold?
illustration of Grane (Ake) og his old mother goes down to a lower astral level where his old father was stuck in old hatred.
-Freezes? ... it was a strange question. Sure, I freeze, but it must be so, it belongs to the castle I built myself.
-But you are bound, will you not be free?
There was a time when I struggled in my bonds, and cried out for freedom, but now I've learned that it must be so. I just want to be left alone.
-I want to try to help you, I said and took a firm hold of his chains, but they did not give way. I could do nothing.
-Do not do that, he said in angry tone, you shall not bother anything, where I am powerless.
-No, you're right, I said, there is probably no other than yourself who can solve your bands, but YOU can, if you really want.
And if I do not want ...
-You have to want, because you can not be stuck here for eternity.
My mother took him in hand.
-Ulf, she said, it is waiting you both warmth and freedom, only if you want to get out of here.
- you can nothing giving me, you who really is to blame why I'm sitting here. Do you remember?
-Quiet, cried mother and put her hand over his mouth, let us not to mention that. We must now try to get you from here.
- Have you now once brought me here, and I will also speak. I want him, my son, to know what kind of mother he had.
- Quiet! I ask you, 'she said with persuasive voice. But Ulf did not stop.
- Then hear, my son. When mother Sigyn was young and handsome - for she was fair once, as strange as it may sound - she was lured away to a powerful chieftain, who gave her expensive jewelry and sent her desecrated back to her father's house. The child she bore, she put in maple and let it perish miserably.
- Quiet! interrupted the mother. I entreat you! But Ulf went on:
- I knew nothing about this, when I married Sigyn, but later in a moment of despair, it came out of her own mouth. Sensory buzz had begotten bitterness. She had an unquenchable desire revenge on her seducer, and now she wanted me to ...
- Quiet, for God's mercy!
... I should kill him. It was she, letting poison into my blood, and hard as I was, it fell on fertile ground. For many years I walked and brooded on revenge and years went by hardening my mind. Still goaded (urged) me Sigyn, and finally, when the moment was propitious, I hit. No one guessed that it was me. There was sadness in many people's minds, but Sigyn and I laughed ... Ugh, what I'm freezing!
He trembled all over and cringed of the pain. Sigyn was absolutely crushed at his feet.
Then we heard footsteps. I turned around and saw a figure, looking and dressed like an old Nordic chieftain. I thought I recognized the features, but did not remember where I had seen them. He smiled kindly at me and nodded, then I saw that it was Father Abilard. But why had he put on this disguise?
Ulf raised his head and uttered a scream of horror.
- It's him ... it's him! Go, go, I do not see you, you pale shade.
Even Sigyn had stood up, and cried in dismay:
- Get thee hence Satan's delusion of you! It can not be him. Who are you, who lent his form to scare us?
Abilard bent down and took Sigyns hand.
- I am one who seeks forgiveness for a crime I once youthful frenzy committed against you. During the centuries of sometimes very painful memories, I have longed for this moment when I could throw myself at your feet and beg for forgiveness for the violation I added you. But still, I held back, not from any false modesty, but by your own senior leaders, which thou knowest not, but who is watching over your steps. He has always said:
"Wait for that moment will come when I call you". Now he has called, I'm here now and begging for your forgiveness.
He knelt down and stretched his arms towards her. She was deeply moved, could not utter a word, she just looked at him with big wondering eyes. Then followed a gripping scene, when Sigyn in the deepest contrition expressed to all the gentler feelings, she had been trapped into for centuries. Now broke the ropes in which she constricted her presence, now got the hearts icebounded treads free, and with a humility and tenderness, as one would have thought inconsistent with her character. She was entirely in the confession of her remorse over all the evil she in hardness had done.
This took finally even old Ulf. Then Sigyn buried her head in his lap and asked him to forgive all her fault, then softened even HIS rigid features. He stroked her gently over the hair while the big tears rolled down his cheeks into his beard. Finally, he extended his hand toward Abilard.
- Friend, he said, are you not angry with me?
- By no means. I only longed to get you help. Now, I mean that you have been here long enough and am ready to follow us.
- Oh, would it be so well! But here I am bound and will never come from here before Ragnarok burst my fetters. But, if I am once again free, I will honestly give you all and serve you as a slave.
- You are free. Do you not see your fetters or chains have fallen from you. Don’t you see now, how the ice, both outside and inside of you, begins to melt. Take my hand as we walk together from this frosty custody. Praise God who allowed me to experience this moment.
The time had now come, that I would go into the matter again. I had begun to long for that, though I knew well that the new life, I went to, would lead to severe tests, but I realized on the other hand, that with the limited experiences I now had, could not rise higher in the spiritual sphere. I had to gather more material to build further this development, I was to be cast into. Abilard confirmed this idea and encouraged me to the important step I was going to receive.
Sigyn, who was now a thoroughly good and loving creature, and that included me with the greatest affection, wanted me to wait for some time, as she wanted to go before, as for possible, once again to be the mother, and bear me into earth life . But I felt that I could not wait any longer. The torpor which precedes the re-entry into the world of matter, had already begun to take me. I said goodbye to my friends and went so resolutely, but not without a secret awe into the new life that awaited me.
Under what circumstances and where I would be born, I had no idea.
Next life - again in Sweden in 1685
Born in the forests of Värmland in poor conditions with a hard childhood without special experiences, before he is discharged as a soldier under Carl the twelfth, as 19 of age. He was sent to war against poland and this he comes "safely" through - and are then sent to Russia in a dispute with Tsar Peter. The dream of youth had come true - to fight in war! They suffered as can not be described, he writes, until the Battle of Poltava, where he fell. So it is that - until the soul or ego has had enough of sufferings or dark, illness experiences - through bodies in the coarse physical world, so it longs for warbattles, honor and fame.
Here one is to draw the thoughts, one dies with, and which is creating the first illusion of the world, and as one can be "captured into" - for a long time, if you do not ask for help or understands the situation.
But pretty soon he was here, on the "battlefield", approached by two men in white clothes with a stretcher, on which he is laid, before he fell asleep. (Yes - you can also fall asleep in the next world – then the “day awareness” is so on an even higher plane - but you do not normally remember any of it from the level one are on).
So when he awoke, he was in a kind of hospital, where he was approached by his former sister and mother from the former life as Grane. (onlinefilm link on just this theme) He knew them after a while - apparently the veil from some of the previous life is here to a greater extent removed. But the outlook of her mother was now as in her young days - in the middle and higher astral plane, no particular bodily aging occur. So here is maintained a beautiful and youthful look of the exterior body - nourished by the plane's rewarding, all-pervading life force. They said they had followed him from the other side during his last short soldier life.
Here she tells a little about his transformation from page 62 in the book:-You think that I have changed - to my advantage - right?
-Well, who would have believed that you, old mother, could become so young again. Explain to me how it happened.
-As you recall, it was a poignant moment, when we managed to release the old Ulf from the ice world he lived in, where he had been imprisoned so long. This was also my spirits freedom - from the anguish, that I myself, through my stubbornness had sustained me in. And my mind brightened more and morem in proportion as I opened it to higher influences. Finally - it was shortly after that you went down to earth – there came words that I would have to move to a higher sphere, where Torah already belonged to, and where we now was on.
But then I went through a change, which was very wonderful. I was very exhausted and fell asleep there down and woke up here in a new rejuvenated form. There is something like a process, similar to the earthly death, although the difference in density between the body we put off and the body we obtain - is not that great. It is as if the outer, little rougher shape has melted away, and the inner thinner came forward - yes, I can not explain it better for you. You'll have yourself to some time, experiencing it.
-You may believe, said Thora, it was a joy, when I got to take Sigyn with me up here, where my little home was waiting for her. And we now also have you with us, making our pleasure so much bigger. I also have greetings for you from old Ulf, which we still call him - he is now a diligent worker in the sphere, we last left - and further from Erik and Ingegerd, who asked us to be welcome in their castle as soon as possible. We now live, as you can understand, in the same sphere.
Then we a few days later, were sitting together in intimate conversations, our old friend Abilard came to visit. He embraced me and congratulated me on a job well accomplished life on Earth.
-You have not been gone for more than 24 years, he said, but you have used the time wisely. It's been a hard school, but imagine what it has done you good.
-I do not understand, I said. When I now look back on my life, it has just been fighting and hardships. What have I then gained from it?
-You have won, what you not otherwise could have won - you've tamed the old Ulf nature within you. There are still in your being, a kind of ferocity which none up here conceived, though as honestly they were meant, are able to wipe out. It must be done on the plane, where the wildness has its playground and where it can be burnt out. That is why you were sent into the war, that gave you the opportunity to bind the rawness. But you resisted the temptation. You did your duty as a brave soldier, but you were never glad for the battle, as it was for you a disgust. Thus, the goal was won, and you had to go home again. Strange as it may sound, the war was for you a means of purification.
It was also so in another respect. The sufferings and hardships that went with it, and you wore with resistant prostrate and submissiveness, have wiped out many of the patches you through past violence sullied yourself with. How the war is to be condemned, in itself, it must be like all evil in the world - in its consequences make or serve good. It is a scourge, which the people of their wickedness committed to themselves, but as they also need for their own discipline. When they no longer need it, - it will be removed by itself.
-It is still one thing, I do not understand. The hard school, I had to go through here in the spheres before my last earthly life, had tamed my savagery, so that I at least believed myself quite complete in that respect. why should the same lesson may be repeated on the physical plane?
-Because it's there, blindfolded and in forgetfulness of all the past - we must take the test. One learns a lesson up here, but must descend to earth to "read it" or really LEARN IT. Passed this test, it has the good lesson rooted in his or her nature. But failing - and unfortunately it is often the case - you get rebuffed and forced to come back to new sufferings and new tests. Therefore, we not infrequently see, that for life after life, the same individual is shaped so alike, that it is hard to discern anything in the least of progress. Progress is sometimes infinitely slowly, but He who waits for us, is not in a hurry, His patience is infinite, and His love is boundless.
After I recorded my memories from my past wandering the earth, and compared them with older notes from past lives, and this draws the disappointing conclusion that Abilard was right in terms of development, slowness, I was now to begin a more orderly operation. It was split between regular studies in my own sphere and assists in a lower. I had then often the opportunity to meet old Ulf, and we made a strong friendship. The whole time I lived, however, by Sigyn and Thora, where I had the most pleasant home, I could wish for.
so went more than half a century after earth time measures.
Cape. 11 - XI - At last we met
One time Abilard suggested that I should cancel my somewhat monotonous work and take me a recreation by undertaking a long journey in our sphere. I ought to, he thought, to travel a little about in the world I belonged to, maybe I could get into new interesting acquaintances, or revive old ones. He offered to come along and so we went by.
We travel in our world far easier than on Earth. Here is convenient means of transport, both electric vehicles and steerable airships, but you could also just by an act of will concentrate directly move, at almost the speed of thought from one place to another. This costs some effort, but leads rapidly to the target. Of course you can also walk on foot and it does not mean the same effort as a walk on earth, when the walk here is much easier, lighter and faster than when you're carrying the physical body. We chose the later mode of travel, because we had a better opportunity to see us around.
It would be a very difficult task to try to describe all the wonderful and interesting, I during this trip was to experience. I just want to dwell at one episode, which for me was of great future importance.
We had visited a small town, which was located on a hillside overlooking a beautiful valley, and in the bottom a mountain stream rushed forward, and I was just about to leave, when we at the city gate met a young woman, who stayed and watched us as if she had recognized us. She was small and dilution in stature, but had nothing willful in her appearance. Her eyes were soft with a sheen of sadness in her eyes. There was something about this look that I could not get past.
-Why do you leave this town, without having been inside my house? she asked. That's still me you seek.
-I do not know you, I said surprised.
But I know you, she said with a conviction, which seemed irrevocable. You are the Knight Åke Algotson - not?
I confirmed that I had once borne the name.
-So follow me, good gentlemen, we have maybe one or two things to talk about together.
She took my hand and led me into her little house, which was located just beside the city gate. Abilard followed silently behind. We entered into a simple and pleasant room, which bore witness to order and diligence. She asked us to sit down in armchairs, while she herself, was standing.
-It was a time, she said, turning to me, when the young handsome knight, not scorn a poor maid, whom he met in the woods. Do you remember little Gudrun, which you took in your arms? At first she was timid, but then she indulged so completely to her lovely knight, that he has never gone out of her mind. Do you remember that?
-Gudrun? I said inquiringly, in that I got up from her chair. I was both startled and embarrassed. Memories came up, I long ago thought was obliterated. The fair Gudrun's image was at once so alive to me, that I could not help seeing that it was she who now stood before us.
-Yes, you have forgotten me, I see, she continued with a mournful tone, but I have never forgotten you. Much have I since experienced, but the image of my young knight has so burned itself into my memory, that I would have recognized you where and whenever I met you, in spite of it would have gone a thousand years. And that I would one day meet you, I knew. The certainty has burned like a little twinkling star in my being's innermost place, it has made me to forget so many hardships that I encountered on my way. It has taught me to believe and hope. And now the miracle happened, that I will meet you here outside my door.
-Gudrun: I carry a large debt to you, how can I ever repay it?
-Of that we shall not speak, she said kindly and pushed me back down in the chair, but indulge me only, the little time I get to keep you, to sit at your feet and hold your hand.
She sat on a stool next to me and leaned her head against my knee.
-You little Gudrun, I said, stroking her hair, you have suffered much because of me?
-Love is to suffer, and I have loved you and no one else in all the centuries, as have gone while waiting for you to come.
-Would you tell us something about yourself from that time, when we met in the forest?
-What can I say except that you took my heart, without I getting yours. What could I do but cry when you left me and married the beautiful maiden at King Waldemar's hoof. I hid myself with my shame, I gave birth to my child in grief, but I loved it because it was also yours. I was hunted away by my father, because I could not bring myself to say your name. Outcast and despised, I went with my child in my arms from door to door and begged until finally an old man of the priests took care of us, and helped so I got serving by a rich and noble gentleman, who owned an estate near Linköping. There I could stay and take care of his pigs. Yes, God bless the Father, who helped us! I never saw him since.
Abilard got up and looked at Gudrun with a searching look.
-Do you remember what the Father was called? said Abilard.
-Yes, that's all I remember of him. His features have faded, but I have to remember his name, in order to take him into my prayers. His name was Abilard.
-How have I found thee, my daughter, whom I so highly sought after, said Abilard and stretched out her arms to her. I suspected that there might possibly be you, now I have confidence. Do you recognize me?
Gudrun had risen and stood with an expression of the utmost astonishment on her face.
-You ... are you Abilard? Well, so God bless you! she cried and put her arms around his neck.
-You must not wonder that I did not immediately recognize you, she added, because when I found my knight, he took me so completely. I hardly saw you were with us.
Then we talked long together. Gudrun said she had been down to earth once in a while as a nun of Vadstena monastery, but had not found the peace she searched for.
When I asked what she was doing, and if she liked the part where she lived, she replied:
-I live a very lonely life, but here is a hospital, taking care of those who have difficulty finding their right place here, after they have left the mortal life. So I am a helping sister, for I have good hand with the sick, that I learned in the monastery.
-Do you know anything about he who was then our child?
-He is currently on earth. There, I follow him as much as my time allows, it is my dearest acquisitions. I only have joy of him.
Abilard stood up and prepared himself to go.
-Are you already to leave me, said Gudrun and stretched imploring hands towards us.
-I think we take her with us in our journey, if she would like, said Abilard and I agreed with all my heart.
I thought she was going crazy, she screamed and spun around and was quite wild with joy. Then she fell on my neck and cried while her eyes shone.
-Never, never did I think that I would follow you, and never did I think that I would see Abilard again, and now I follow you both. Blessed be God!
Our hike went away to a secluded region high up in the mountains. It was a backwoods, where the road wound its way along the steep slopes, across deep gorges and mountain streams run. The vegetation was initially rich, but slowed down as far as we rose higher. Soon we were perched on a plateau of breathtaking beauty with a crown of snow-covered snowtops around the horizon. But not a tree, hardly a shrub, the only thing that grew was a nice soft grass and large sumptuous flowers. It was so quiet, not even a bird chirps interrupted the silence. The air was as warm and easy to breathe. Gudrun was cheerful and happy, and she sang as it echoed against the rock.
-Where are you leading us? I asked Abilard. Here's the sa desolate, even the animal world seems to have withdrawn from this district.
-Not far from here lives an old hermit scholar whom I know since long ago. I wanted to make him a visit. Maybe we will not regret it.
Then we went even a little, we saw a curious, somewhat fantastic building sticking out from behind a crag. An old man with white hair and beard, came out against us.
-I welcome to you, he said. I knew you would come and I am happy to welcome you. My hut is not big but it holds for all three of you the comfort you needed and the hospitality you need.
-God's peace old Atle! said Abilard. You probably know my companions, I need not mention their names?
-They are my good friends. I have been following them in hundreds of years and I knew that one day they would call me. Good to see them together and it's you, old friend who brought them to me for this time, you are thrice welcome.
-it always in my thought to lead him to you, but not knowing, when we started on our journey, that I also had luck to meet her and to be the one who brought her here .. Destiny’s roads are wonderful.
Gudrun and I saw surprised then at the old, and so at each other.
-Why are you living here so lonely, far from other people I asked.
- do You not feel how clean the air is, you do not perceive the solemn stillness, as prevails here, then can you not understand how well this place is dedicated to the studies I pursue?
-What studies? I ventured to throw out.
-Come and see, he said, and brought us into a large room, which looked like a scientific laboratory. In all tables and shelves were instruments of many kinds: binoculars, sextante scales, crucibles and things, even as preparations - in an infinite variety.
Gudrun went around and looked at all these for her, so strange things, lifted them and put them gently back down.
-You know more than others, I can tell, she said, but what exactly do you study?
-Nature, nothing but nature, said the old man, and his eyes shone with joy, while his mouth pulled into a beautiful smile. - But, he added, nature is infinite in the large and the small, and also not eternity sufficient for those who want to penetrate into all its secrets.
-Is nature so attractive, that you want to sacrifice centuries of studying it? asked Gudrun.
-Not only nature, as it appears to our senses, but what lies behind.
-What is behind?
-The Great Spirit, who never started and never stopped, he is, and never changed, he who bears everything without getting tired, he who, with his gentle breath warms every little life-seed, so that it turns into a flower, and each trembling human heart, so that it opens up and tremble with joy.
-Have you seen this Spirit?
-Nobody has seen him, or ever see him, not even the high cherubs, who is his messengers, but by getting on the trails of the laws, he wrote into his nature, I walk as in his tracks, thinking his thoughts after and for each new little step I add to the chain of old truths, crying my heart with joy. Praise be God!
It was a glorified light over the old man's face, and he raised his hands as if he had thanked anyone.
Then he took us into his study, as on all the walls had shelves of books and folios. On the desk lay piles of paper and old parchment scrolls. On one wall was a broad bench, covered with a pillow and some soft cushions. Here he bade us be seated, while he himself went about doing something. First he took out an old jar and then he came with three crystal goblets.
-This is my only dear guests, he said as he poured out a golden wine. I myself consumes nothing.
-You have probably often guests, said Abilard.
-Yes, they come from above and below to help me in my studies and themselves to become helped. Up-lift you now with my wine, it have no intoxication. And be most welcome my dearest guests, who I for centuries have been waiting for.
-Yes, you mentioned that you followed us over the centuries and that you felt that we were coming, I said, can you explain why you expected us?
- I'd love to, he said, and took place in an old leather upholstered armchair across from us. Do you remember a time when you were my master. You were the handsome knight Ake Algotsson at King Waldemar's court and I was a poor woodcutter Atle at your farm?
- Was it you who helped me find the trace of her elapsed from me?
- so it was. I lived then and now, a little apart from other people, deep in the forest’s gloom. Dreams and premonitions filled my being. Even during previous shifts in my life I had studied the secrets of nature and cultivated certain occult powers which made me I hear and see more than other people, but it did not touch myself too close, because then I was both blind and deaf. I was married and had one daughter. She grew up as a beautiful star-flower in the woods, she was my pride and joy. Since her mother passed away, it was she who took care of our little home and watched our goats.
But one day she came home violated and would not confess who the man was, who sullied her honor. I tried with secret powers get him on the tracks, but always in vain, and it was well, for if I had succeeded, I might have been stained by his blood. Then she insisted not wanting to give the name of seducer, I was hard and pushed her away from me. It was cn act, which I bitterly regret. I have then looked for her on earth and in the spheres, until finally her mother gave me the clue to her. I could then inconspicuously accompany her on all her ways, but dared not give me known for the feeling of fear that she would feel from the unnatural father, who shunned her. This has been my suffering through the centuries.
Since my mind has settled, I have not had difficulty finding the man who caused our misfortune, and even him, I have followed, not with thoughts of revenge, but with the desire to once again get to see them both happy by each other. For in depth of their beings I've read the secret, on which life's happiness depends. Of the exalted master who leads my studies, I have got the advice to wait patiently until they both would look me up.
It has seemed to me as a hopeless and endless waiting, and many a time have my hopes failed, but now - finally! - I have you both with me.
He stretched his arms out against us and took us both with indescribable tenderness in his arms. Gudrun had, as he spoke, crept to him and took his hand, which she covered with kisses. I had a wonderful sensation of something in my inmost being opened, and through this opening, I saw in a vision a perspektive of happiness, which filled me with an old not-known bliss. It lasted maybe only for a moment that vision, but I felt that now I was facing a new phase of my development, new battles and new breaks, but also new possibilities of happiness would come to fruition.
Abilard left us now. He went to seek others who needed him more, he said. He took us in his arms and expressed his hope that soon we would meet again. Then he wrapped his cloak round himself, and disappeared with wonderful speed from our sight.
It was a happy time we spent with Atle - lucky for us and happy for him. He left for a time his studies and devoted himself entirely to our upbringing. Many words of wisdom he gave us and many strange mysteries he understood to be solved. He was indefatigable to answer all our childish questions. But once I searched to explore him about the future, he became serious and only answered:
Do not ask about the future. It will not stand to be touched by unscrupulous hands. Know that we are at every moment of our lives build on our future. Well or bad, we build, it is our own hand which adds stone to stone on our future and destiny. But if we look for finding the coming future - to penetrate into it - and we want to look in detail how it will be carved, then we anticipate the higher authority, which supervises and leads the work, and interfere with the cooperation that should prevail between this secret overself-power or the timid spirit of power and our own being. The more, however we are in childlike faith leave us entirely devoted to this guidance and belief in its infallible power, the more firmly we build, and the more beautiful the building is.
No doubt there are those who own a certain ability to penetrate in the future of obscurity - and the temptation is great to do it, but it is always associated with dangers, not least on to become mocked by a mirage, which could become a reality, but that was inadequate, as it would take the form of crude or unscrupulous hands. Sometimes our soul rests in solemn silence, it may, without pursue it, catch a glimpse of it, that the future will bring, but then it is something that is given us, not something we grasp for, and its meaning is only to strengthen our faltering faith and warm our frozen faith.
- Have you had such insights into the future? I asked.
- I doubt it for myself, but often enough for those I love.
- As you might have seen something that concerns us, dared Gudrun to throw forth.
-Are you still searching eliciting from me a secret, as would be best for you not to know, said Atle with a friendly smile. Life is always a struggle with the fate we'd created ourselves, but on our side is he/she/it, that holds all the threads in his hand and leading us with a wisdom that is never mistaken and with a love that never fails. It may be sufficient for you to know. He took her head between her hands and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.
